• officemlcc

MLCC Thoughts - Handling Offense

There is no right in America not to be offended.  If a person is breathing, it is likely they will be offended.  It seems almost daily I hear someone whining like a child about being offended—whether by micro- or macroaggressions. People offend and are offended.  This is the world we live in.  It always has been, and it will always be, until there is a radical change in our world.

People are cruel, vicious and downright sadistic at times.  Sometimes their hostility is directed at me personally, and other times it is not personal at all.  People say offensive things because they are offensive people.  The problem lies with them, not me.  As soon as I respond inappropriately to someone’s offensive language toward me, I become the problem also.

I notice, when I have been offended, it usually is because I think too highly of myself.  I elevate myself to some exalted position and wonder why everyone else does not think the same about me that I think about myself.  I become the center of all.  It is all about me.  So, when someone says something offensive, I respond with, how dare you treat the center of the universe this way, and become offended.  The offense focuses my attention on a glaring problem I have, and I do not like that.  I think, hey, I am the center, what is wrong with you?  You need to acknowledge me as the center also!

Well, I am not the center.  I am not even at the edge of the center.  The world does not revolve around me.  I am one of about 7.5 billion people on earth.  It is foolish, unproductive and immature to believe everything revolves around me.

If what someone says about me is true, then I will seek to change what can be changed.  If it is not true, I will ignore it.  Why do I need to be offended and play the victim?  It is a choice.  Why say, “Woe is me.  Look at me.  Feel sorry for me.”  What does that really solve?  Nothing!  It does not change what has been said, or correct the inaccuracies spoken against me.  I will not play the victim!  Victimhood is passive; I want to be active.  If necessary, I will change what can be changed.  If not, I will ignore the offense.

As is evident, not all people care to treat others with respect and love.  This is the reality of the world we live in.  Offenses will come.  When they do, I must know who I truly am.  I must embrace reality.  I must seek to learn as much as I can about myself through the offense (i.e., what needs to be changed).  Offenses can lead to being offended, which can lead to offending another, and the cycle of offense continues.  I must not become the problem.  The offense will stop with me, and thereby, I will defuse the never-ending cycle of offense! 

This is healthy for me, and it is healthy for others in society as well.

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